So…I’m having no issues with game prep, even though I’ve been having trouble making time for it. The game is fun, the ideas are flowing…but for the last three months, I’ve been trying to keep the game running due to scheduling conflict. Everyone, it seems — myself, included — has had some kind of issues. I’ve had a spate of last minute no-shows. Rarely have I had scheduling issues crop up like this outside of when I was in the service.
So when I got another “Hey, I can’t make it Thursday” email, even though I kind of remembered there was another conflict this week, or next, or both, I realized — looking at my calendar — that I was “the guy” that usually/always coordinates these things.
We’ve got a family health emergency that puts pressure on the spouse’s scheduling, and she has work obligations — I’m not the only one that gets affected when we can’t keep a schedule; I’m trying to start a new business and get product ready; I have an attention-hungry five-year old who, during school time, needs time stability. This week, for the first time, I was tired of being “the guy.”
It really surprised me how hard this hit.
I told the others to work it out and let me know. I feel guilty about dropping the ball on them, and it probably came off snarky, but I’m a bit overwhelmed with all the other life shit. Maybe people just got so used to me saying, “Sure, whaddya need?” that they assume I don’t have stuff to do.
So how do others handle this?
The Black Campbell 
11 June, 2016 at 15:00
It happens, and I apologise for being one of the ones contributing to this spate. I went through the same thing a couple of months ago with one of the groups I run for and simply ended up shelving it when I realised I was spending way too much time, stress & effort trying to coordinate something that never seemed to happen. I think we managed 3 sessions in 2 months before I gave up. (It’s remotely possible that a UK/US group with one player on unpredictable shifts was a little too ambitious…)
Sometimes it’s just a perfect storm of scheduling issues. I trust that anyone in this group (and indeed the one I put on hold for terminal scheduling conflicts) would say if they didn’t want to or couldn’t make it anymore.
For some reason the onus of organisation almost always seems to fall on the GM, or maybe that’s just my experience. And when scheduling rough patches occur – and they invariably do – it can be hard not to get stroppy or take it personally even when it isn’t. The game doesn’t suck, you don’t suck, and the players haven’t been intentionally sucking. We’ve just all been failing our scheduling rolls.
15 June, 2016 at 20:38
When I started running Star Wars here in Daejeon one of the things that happened was that two of the players took on the job of scheduling and confirming with everyone without being asked. I was quite surprised by that.
The others are all active people with lots of things calling for their time, and I have a complicated schedule, often interrupted by vet appointments and more typical family obligations. Not having to juggle that was a considerable weight lifted. I really had no idea how much fun that part of getting a session going could drain.
I definitely want to make it a part of any future groups: the GM does not handle session scheduling.
15 June, 2016 at 20:58
Had it happen again for the next two week — one of the players is suddenly unavailable.
15 June, 2016 at 21:09
We are having trouble synching schedules, too. One couple just had a baby, and another player is about to. If I had to be in charge of the schedule, I would likely have brought the campaign to an end by now.
Willfully missing or cancelling sessions is a different kettle of fish. That is ‘not invited back’ territory.
15 June, 2016 at 21:10
We’re approaching the point where if it doesn’t stop, I’m bailing out of the group. Maybe the hobby.
15 June, 2016 at 21:13
Don’t forget about Hangouts. That is ressurrecting game night for a lot of people. If your local group can’t gel right now, a global one might be a fun answer.
I know I would game with you any time the opportunity presented itself.
15 June, 2016 at 21:20
As would I, if it weren’t for those pesky kids…I mean time zones.
15 June, 2016 at 21:38
Ha! Friggin’ k…zones
15 June, 2016 at 23:13
East coast is doable. UK and Europe have proven hard-to-impossible for me to schedule reliable so far, despite my strong desire to game with my old college friends again. 😦
15 June, 2016 at 23:12
The alternative to bailing would be to take a break. Coming on the heels of the end of a years’ long campaign and the start of a new one + all the recent scheduling problems, that might be a less definitive solution…
21 June, 2016 at 22:02
My experience is that it usually falls on the GM to push things along. Seeing as I am the main GM for my group it means it usually falls on me. I went through this burnout a few years ago and decided to discuss it at the game table. My players were pretty good about it and we’ve been able to have fairly reliable gaming ever since.
Summer is when problems can really occur for us. To solve the problem I created a Doodle poll which I sent to the group. I told them to indicate which weekend they should be free and asked them to take the commitment seriously for any days they showed as available.
I’ve just returned from Origins with another group of gamers and asked my main group if we were supposed to play this weekend. Holy crap…they actually checked Doodle and confirmed YES!!!!