Right up front: I’ve not been a fan of the d20 system for decades. I played Dungeons & Dragons up through the AD&D days, but from version 3 on, I mostly ignored it and played other things. About eight years ago, our new gaming group coalesced around 5e. I inherited books from a Pathfinder fan who didn’t want them and started running the game for the group, as well as another campaign for my wife and daughter. A few of the group were excited for the drop of the new Player’s Handbook at GenCon and after having a look through it, I’m glad I didn’t waste money on it.

So what’s wrong with it? There’s a few things but let’s start with the obvious: D&D is an utter disaster, rules-wise. The basic die mechanic is fine. Very simple. Roll a die and get above the DC (difficulty class). The flat probability (each face on the d20 is essentially 5%) is simple, although there are so many systems that allow for the probability curve to shift by using different dice or multiple dice, rather than a flat modifier based off of the ability. In fact, the ability score itself — strength, dexterity, what have you — is generally not used.

And then you get to combat. There’s 13 different types of damage, some that carry on over the course of a few turns or until a save throw is made. It’s overly fiddly, and an artifact from the wargaming origins of the game. Yes, there’s some reason for it. Maybe you’re resistant to a type of damage — fire, cold, necrotic, etc. — and the rule is there to allow specificity so that a player or gamemaster can ensure fairness. 

There’s been some complaining over time about the use of ye olde 10’ (or 5’) grids for combat, but again…this started as a wargame and for a lot of the older players, that’s what they’re looking for. Yes, I prefer the idea of zones (see everything Free League, and other publishers…) better, but it’s certainly not a deal breaker. The issue with the grid can come quickly when the GM or the player starts busting out their trigonometry skill to figure out if their target’s elevation puts it outside the range of a weapon or spell.

Spellcasting is probably the most egregious point of failure in the game. The spell section is enormous — and no, that’s not a good thing. The original 5e Player’s Handbook has 82 pages of word count-filling blather. There are spells no one is going to use…ever. There are the ones that will be commonly used. Is it a cone? Is it a sphere? Area effect? Range? There’s a lot of moving parts to just using a spell, and this is an artifact of the game’s original wargaming heritage. Only certain spells can be used by certain spellcasters. Good to try and have players focus on their character and their type of magic, instead of everyone just grabbing fireball.

Character creation is overly involved and fiddly — especially once you start adding the burgeoning feats (74, now…about double what they had in the original 5e), ideals, bonds, flaws, or even alignment. I’ve always hated alignment, although I understand why it’s there. More on this in a moment. There’s more weapons mastery properties (proficiencies, essentially). More is not better; more is just more. The race/class/level mechanic is central to a lot of the roleplaying element of D&D and becomes a primary driver of the game: gaining levels to gain more spells, special maneuvers, and other perks. The list of these is huge — 54 pages of material on character class for 12 classes. Add in the special abilities of different races, and it’s overwhelming for newbies.

Just to simplify it to the point of making running an adventure manageable, I used the excellent Game Master 5 and Fight Club 5 apps, which take a lot of the work out of running the game.

None of this has been fundamentally changed by the 2024 edition. Yes, there’s the move from “race” to “species” because some folks have to be offended by…everything. Does it change the idea of race? Nope. Classes have more perks per level. Why? More, stupid! There’s more subclasses in each class. Why? More.

There is also, of course, the whinging about “woke”, and yes, the social justice types have infiltrated WotC in force. The move from race to species, the addition of the BDSM derived “safety tools” that are showing up in almost every new TTRPG are there. (The worst offended I’ve seen is Evil Hat, to the point I haven’t even considered their products since Atomic Robo.) I’m not surprised by this development. We’ve gotten allow the spoiled, wealthy, and whiny to politicize everything at the expense of fun, and games are not immune. I’m also not doing that stuff at my table. Should you be alert to things that might be making folks uncomfortable? Yes. Should one overly sensitive tit shut down everything so you can all pay attention to and change everything for them? No.

Yes, there’s the professed attempt to “decolonize” D&D and push white guys out of the hobby so the rainbow warriors can have it all to themselves. The anti-white woke was particularly highlighted by the online rants of brand leader Kyle Brink — since let go from Wizards. Ain’t going to happen. We’ll see what we’ve always seen: like-minded folks will play together. Cool. So, yes, D&D got woke and that might hurt the brand, but it’s the least of the problems.

The big error is their move toward trying to milk the players for every dime they can. The “One D&D” push reminds me of BMW and Mercedes trying to charge drivers a subscription to use their heated seats. The push to move to digital books and tools and away from pen & paper is 1) cheaper for WotC, especially with the cost of paper, printing, and shipping; 2) allows them to bilk their customers with a subscription model for access to Beyond D&D and other “exclusive products”. If anything, this is the reason that Dungeons & Dragons is most likely going to bleed customers to Pathfinderand better games like Forbidden RealmsThe One Ring, and the retroclones of old D&D.

So, is it worth it? At $50-60 to get new art and feel like you’re saving Orcs from racism? Nope. Find the 5e stuff on sale and buy that.

So I’m over on one of the Facebook RPG groups and read an intro to a post that made me eye roll:

All the other stuff aside, Wizards of the Coast get a lot of extra credit from me for including the following text from the Basic Rules set:
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“You don’t need to be confined to binary notions of sex and gender. The elf god Corellon Larethian is often seen as androgynous or hermaphroditic, for example, and some elves in the multiverse are made in Corellon’s image. You could also play a female character who presents herself as a man, a man who feels trapped in a female body, or a bearded female dwarf who hates being mistaken for a male. Likewise, your character’s sexual orientation is yours to decide.”
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Brilliant.

Now, don’t get me wrong — I don’t particularly care about people sexuality unless we’re having an intimate moment together; outside of that, it’s none of my business. We’ve had bisexuals, homosexuals, and one transvestite that was a bit of an odd character (and not because he dressed as a woman), as well as a stripper who wanted to play in the nude…much odder — doesn’t bother me. In game, there’s been plenty of sexual issues and non-standard characters.

But especially after the “Don’t let you parent enforce gender binaries” bullshit on the slide at my kids park — a park for 3-5 year olds — I’ve had my fill of Progressive reformist nonsense.

My response was my usual snarky, sarcastic self. “Can’t we just play without somebody bringing gender politics into everything?”

At this point, I apparently did the internet version of shit on their dinner table.

The immediate response is the classic example of reformist twats at their worst:

No we can’t.
Not when oppression and objectification still exists within the greater community of roleplaying.

And if you can’t understand that you’re part of the problem.

Oooo…sick burn, man. I hope you can fit all that self-importance through your bedroom door, or you’ll be in real danger of disappointing that lesbian transexual woman with a taste for making her male subs watch.

Now for the less asshole-ish response: 1) Oppression? If you feel you are being oppressed by your gaming group — you’re in the wrong fuckin’ game group. 2) Objectification? Listen, ladies, if the men are treating you like a sexual object, or just the “girl at the game”…you’re in the wrong fuckin’ game group.

I had a related issue with group way back in the ’90s where all the players were treating the female at the table like their “kid sister” (their view point), when they were actually treating her like some doll to be joked over and ignored (my POV.) I made a point of teaming up with her character and forcing the guys to take her seriously. It worked.

No whining about gender norms. No filing lawsuits. No puffing out my chest in righteous indignation about how much of a feminist I was. Just play and treat everyone the same. (“Just like shit…” LCDR Richard Marcinko.)

And if I can understand that, if makes you a bit of a pretentious prat, Mr. Angry About the Latest Trendy to be Angry About.

But wait! There’s more from the guy that started the thread:

Because sex and gender is pivotal to the human condition. We play ROLE playing games, and those include many different lifestyles and cultures. That’s why.

Wow — I got told, huh? Back to Mr. Angry About the Latest Trendy Thing to be Angry About:

Go play with your game group if you want to escape reality, or a singleplayer videogame.

The internet (and this community) is made up of people from reality, so that whole argument is moot.
And as a society/community we wish to include/cater to people of all genders/sexualities. Just because you don’t want to acknowledge their presence whilst you play your game doesn’t mean we shouldn’t see it as an issue that should be tackled (and is starting to be by WotC).

As Spock so aptly put it “the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few”, and we all NEED to accept/acknowledge our NB compatriots.

Did you just, in the space of saying you’re “from reality” quote Spock at me? Better yet, you use a quote that actually runs contrary to the very thing you are bitching about: a small subculture — the few — wants to be treated normally by the main culture, or the many (or peckish white patriarchy, if it’ll make you feel more accepted), then make a point of being as contentious as they can on the issue…only to be shocked when the many don’t rally to the cause of the few.

But that’s “gender binaries” for you. Darned breeders.

Here’s a notion you might not have considered, Mr. AATLTTBAA. I don’t have to accept or acknowledge your lifestyle, because I’m not affected by it. Because I am a decent fellow, I do feel I have to tolerate you and treat you like i do most people. To a point. That point is when you make an ass out of yourself. (Which I was declared to be doing for not reflexively applauding WOTC for their “inclusiveness.”) Accept you? Nope, I don’t have to do that. And I’m less like to do so when you are a posturing tit.

Now considering Dungeons & Dragons is marketed to teens, I can see where WOTC wants to be warm and cuddly, but there is a question of appropriateness. There are kids that are not yet sexualized reading the book. There are kids who are in the early stages of puberty and most don’t need confusing concepts tossed at them.

Mr. AATLTTTBAA again:

I don’t see how teaching children about the spectrum and lifestyle choices could be inappropriate.

I’m guessing because you don’t have kids. Granted, Progressives slinging gender around as a political mace don’t see problems with sex education for kindergarteners, either…but then, the reformist impulse Progressivism inherited from the new religiosity of the Second Great Awakening is only concerned with being right. Whether an argument over slavery, gender, or forcing people to stop drinking or doing narcotics, or disarming the public — they just want to win the argument.

A perfect case to illustrate this is a close relative of mine who has had trouble with every PTA, library board, Democrat Party committee, local government board they’ve been on. Recently, this person was staggered that the library board could not move on an obvious issue — that front desk the library has had since I can remember. This person decides a new one is needed, but the board takes no action. “My son-in-law can build it for cheap!” They still are not convinced. My wife asks the relative after hearing this, “Did you ask them if they needed a new desk?”

“Well, no…but they need a new desk.”

The desires (not needs) of the few probably have no impact on the “going about my life” of the many.

WOTC took the opposite approach to a vocal portion of the gaming community who apparently define themselves primarily by their sexuality or gender, and who demand that we acknowledge them. The paragraph isn’t particularly offensive, so much as it is tiresome after 10 years of listening to half-witted academics talk about “gender binaries” like the universe (or most folks just trying to feed their families) gives a shit we don’t like our sexual choices. But like my relative, squeezing your opinion on the latest trendy “issue” into every place you can, regardless of whether it is wanted or appropriate, is unlikely to win you traction from anyone but your own subculture. (As if gaming weren’t a small enough one…)