I saw a poster for this movie at the local indie movie house while out on a group motorcycle ride and lo! it was available on iTunes for rent. $3.99 and an hour and a half later, I had watched Zero Charisma — a little movie out of Chris Hardwick’s Nerdist duchy (it’s not quite an empire, yet.)

Zero Charisma centers around a small gaming group lead/ruled over by gamemaster Scott Weidermeyer, who is pretty much everything I counsel against on this blog. He’s an awful person in many respects — selfish, angry to the point of near constant abuse of everyone around him, insecure, and in his real life, a loser. (He works at a Chinese-owned eatery called, wonderfully, the Donut Taco Palace III.) Scott is leading his four friends…well, more like vassals, through three years of a quest that will eventually center on a showdown he’s been crafting in his mind. Problem: one of the gamers gets a phone call during their game (a major faux pas) and has a major row with his wife who is looking to leave him. He tells the group he can’t play anymore…ever.

It’s a huge blow to Scott, for whom the game is pretty much the only safe spot he has in life. His mother shows up later, having abandoned him and his grandmother to “grow marijuana in Mexico” and who is a worse person than her son. The grandmother is pretty abusive, but more in that disappointed-as-hell-in-you manner; she obviously loves him, but wants him to sort his shit.

The recruitment drive is on for a new player but most of the gamers, unfortunately for the group, know Scott. Finally, he stumbles onto a new prospect at the local game store he’d been fired from (and sales went up 200% — you know this guy, trust me, if you’ve been gaming awhile): Miles, a hipster-type who used to play D&D and thought it might be fun to find a game. Miles is everything Scott isn’t — personable, funny, talented, and successful — with a website on comics, movies, and gaming that had “millions” of viewers (versus Scott’s 14 visitors a week to his gaming blog.) He even shows up with a six pack for everyone the first night, which sets off alarm bells for Scott.

Almost immediately it’s a battle of wills between the two for who is going to control the game group, with outright conflict breaking out when Scott fudged a die roll to thwart Miles during a game, only to be outted by Miles hot-as-hell girlfriend. (“You don’t even know how to play!” “I know cheating when I see it.”)

Zero Charisma seems to be marketed as a comedy, but it’s not very funny — Scott is a tragic character in many ways, but is so unlikeable that he’s hard to identify with. His nemesis, Miles, is likeable but is hipster douchey, especially in a key scene at the denouement, so he’s a bit hard to side with. However, watching the movie I knew all these guys after 30 years of gaming. It was funny because so much of the stereotyping was true — but it’s stereotypes that were much more common in gaming 20 years ago. Had this been made in 1990, it would have been spot-on for much of the gaming community, but now it represents a small, and aging population.

The movie is stripped down and does a lot with a little. The writing is good, but there is a lack of respect for what gaming means to a lot of folks — something Role Models hit on much better. The acting is very good, with relative unknowns doing sterling service.

Overall, I’d put it in the “rent it or see it at a matinee” level of movie, if you’re a gamer. If not, I’d say pass on this one.

Tonight’s session revolved around the investigation of a galleon from Kobol, found orbiting the flux tube between a gas giant and it’s closest moon. The fleet had been looking for tylium to tank up, found it on this small moon that is on the verge of dropping into its parent gas giant — that planet badly attenuated by the nova that had created a planetary nebula around a white dwarf. The nebula has similar radiation signatures to Ragnar that damage Cylon circuitry…but also has high levels of gamma that make it unsafe for the fleet to hang in the area for long. (Inside the upper levels of the planet’s atmosphere, where the moon is scrapping, the magnetic field of the planet protects from that radiation…but the microwave interference is intense. The ship is just inside the atmosphere, and the mission must content with high winds, tremendous energy flows, and landing on a derelict that has a strongly charged hull.

The players stage a mission with the scientists they can find to work it: Baltar (now the new science minister for the fleet), an astronomer, a doctor and a few medical specialists, a deputy marshal with degrees in divinity, literature, and a minor in archeology. One of the PCs is playing Baltar, another one of the pilots on the mission. They have to fly through heavy chop, avoid the flux tube, and land the shuttle while making sure their shuttle’s electrical system is ready to handle the massive shock of touching down on the derelict. The landing is harsh and does some damage to the shuttle, but it’s still operational.

Once aboard the fan out and search a very small area of the craft. The hull is at an angle to the planet’s center of gravity, so “down” is about 25 degrees from the floor, toward the aft. They have to careful and most of the team got minor injuries slipping and falling. The descriptions of this ancient vessel were horror movie-esque: it’s dark, there’s the constant noise of the thin atmosphere outside hitting the hull and strange creaks and groans from a stressed hull and heat expansion and contraction. The ship has damage from millennia of exposure to the atmosphere, but also from weapons hits. They find bodies of the passengers, dead from explosive decompression. They find momentos — pictures, personal effects, all which evoke the same sense of panicked flight and loss as in their own fleet. These were people on the run, as well.

The interior is very stripped down; the ship was a refugee vessel — they didn’t bother with hiding wire conduits, air pipes, etc. They find toolboxes and other implements that are shockingly similar to what the Colonials use — screwdrivers, ratchet wrenches, staplers, etc. They see a large seal on the end of the hangar bay with a Phoenix symbol that is similar, but not the same as that of the Colonies. They find the astronomy compartment and star charts and other important pieces of information — most of it intact enough to take away, but who knows what will happen when it is exposed to air? They find the bridge, which I described to evoke the old McQuarrie design for Galactica from the original show…but sitting in the command chair is a massive figure — a blond man, of amazing physical beauty and proportions — 7 and a half to eight feet tall, well-preserved. He is dressed in black combat armor that has a vaguely Spartan quality to it, and is holding the pistol — perhaps an energy weapon — that he used to take his life. The sigil of Apollo adorns the armor.

They find the machine shops and they are staggering — 3D printers of incredibly advanced design for metal, plastics, flesh. And they find several gold-skinned androids fashioned to look like women, each with a unique face and body — the archeologist posits these are some of Hephaestus’ “golden women” that aided him in his forge. Their myth/religion is coming alive.

Eventually, they have to return to Galactica, which is providing overwatch for the mining vessels going after the tylium on the moon surface and we ended there for the night.

This was a big push episode — not only to push the game in a new direction from the show, but to heighten some of the conceits of the RDM Galactica — that the characters are playing out a variation of a story told over and over again, and how do they break the cycle? I’ve heightened the Greek myth aspects of the show and added more traditional science fiction elements — the Lord of Kobol existed, but were they simply some kind of souped-up humans, were they supernatural, and what was this “Blaze” that was warring on the Lords? Why did the humans have to flee Kobol, apparently guarded by Kobolians/Lord of Kobol? And who are the new humanoid Cylons — did the Cylons the Colonials created make these new fleshy versions (and why, if they despise humans so much?) or are they some kind of creation by Kobol? I’ve also pulled in elements from the old show — including the Ship of Light, which one of the PCs has seen in his visions of Kobol. But what is it — a ship?

There’s nothing worse than watching a movie or discussing a book with an “expert.” That astronomy major who had to explain to you why the mining rovers in Moon are not where they should be or have to bitch about how the International Space Station and telecommunications satellites in Gravity couldn’t get hit by the same bit of debris. The weapons guys that tell you that grenade doesn’t create a fireball worthy of 10kgs of explosives, or there’s no f@#$ing safety on a Glock, which also doesn’t go “click” multiple times when empty (Okay…I’m that guy.)

Well, these humorless know-it-alls at the National Health Service in the UK have turned their attention to James Bond. They were shocked…shocked to find that Bond had a drinking problem, something that was painfully obvious in the Ian Fleming books, and was hinted at in multiple movies from the Moore period on. The NHS killjoys tracked his consumption by unit (at modern standards of drinking…not those of the 1950s for the books) and found that Bond was dropping back liver-damaging levels of alcohol. Four times the recommended level — how could he function? He would be impotent (a problem the NHS wallah would certainly know something about), and could shoot or drive straight.

1) All racial stereotypes included — Bond was a Scot. In the ’50s. A survivor of World War II and an MI6 agent when it was dangerous. He drank to excess because he had lost people he loved, was in a soul-destroying job, and most importantly — was a pulp fiction hero, hence an idealized version of what a “man” should be. My family in Scotland functions just fine on amounts of alcohol that Americans would instantly define as “clinical abuse.”

2) They were shocked to find he drove drunk. Again…1950s. Of course he did. We didn’t have schoolmarms at every turn telling us to wear seat belts, drive sober, and wear motorcycle helmets. (That doesn’t mean it’s not a good idea in all of these cases — just that life was a lot quieter when you didn’t have some meddlesome prat up your ass moralizing.)

3) How could he shoot straight? I don’t shoot drunk, as I recognize it’s whacking stupid, but I have had to qualify and shoot in the field on three days of sleep deprivation — just as debilitating, once you factor in adrenaline and discomfort — and I still shot expert. It’s doable. Just not likely.

4) But then again, a guy that tools around in a Bentley and can get a Beretta .25 to kill folks — that’s not a likely man. One that can get a Walther PPK to fire three times without jamming is superhuman. (Really, James — you gave up the exemplary P99 for a weapon your own service pulled for its lack of reliability? Crap…I’m doing it, too!)

5) The quip about him not being able to stir his drink…Bond doesn’t make his own drinks, deeb! And shaken is better. Even for a drink as awful as the Martini.

Still, I wouldn’t mind seeing a Bond that was a bit off after a night of drinking, but who powers through it while not being quite as physically capable. That would make him even more badass. Or imagine the scene — “We’ll launch the raid at dawn.” “Why dawn, 007? So they’ll be at their low point in their circadian rhythm?” “No, because I’ll have dried out enough to not get shot to death.”

One of the other points they might have hit on (and that Never Say Never Again addressed) was that Bond was also a foodie — a serious gourmand snob whose diet was an artery-clogging festival of delight. He smoked to excess — something they toned down in the Brosnan films, but brought back with Craig — why not tell us Bond would be an emphysemaic or in Stage 1 lung cancer? Here’s something you skinny-assed scientists didn’t take into account — Bond didn’t expect (like so many hard living people) to live past his 20s…30s…last week. When you’re in a job that involved getting brutally murdered at any moment, why wouldn’t you smoke, drink, and eat to excess? Plenty of athletes do it and did quite well in that time period (until you fall apart.)

Oh, that brings up 6): It’s fantasy! Just let me enjoy it.

All the corvids are far too smart — they use tools, they remember techniques and teach them to others, they seem to have an idea of consequence and expectation of reward, and they are cruel:

For more, go here.

Tonight’s adventure was fairly quick, partly because the player that runs a marine character didn’t show up — meaning a large portion of the action happened offscreen. In this, the players assault the mutineer-controlled Astral Queen. The last post talked about the deal that the PC commander had cut with one of the mutiny leaders, a Colonel Seii, and convinced him to aid in the raid of the prison barge by removing Tom Zarek from play, and how two other PCs — the vice president and a deputy marshal — had been captured.

The evening launched straight into the set-up. A raptor jams Astral Queen‘s DRADIS and comms while vipers set up a cordon. Four raptors approach — to are decoys and land on the hangar bays, trying to gain access, while another two deliver teams that burn through the hull to raid the ship with 20 marines (led by four officers — one of them a PC pilot.) The main conflict is quick — Seii had arranged for the main force of armed mutineers to be responding to the decoys while getting himself in close proximity to Zarek and his close confidants — and the mutineers are badly routed by the raptors using their navigation spotlights. (Anyone whose seen an aviation navlight knows they’ll burn your damned eyes out, practically. The pilot engaged a few bd guys, but quickly got to the bridge, where the vice president witnessed Seii staged a quick, violent takeover that killed Zarek.

The commander managed to portray the incident as infighting between the mutineers and painted Seii as a hero of the piece, hoping to bring the unjustly disgraced man into the Fleet again, and was able to convince the civilian authorities to go along with it.

The night’s action showed yet another sharp turn off from the show. Without Zarek as a constant distraction, the fleet politics are more stable, but it also allows one of the PCs — a member of the quorum, a former gang leader turned local politician, and unwilling ally of the Cylons in the fleet — to move into the main political antagonist for the game. There’s still the tension of the show, but the main characters of the show are steadily being sidelined for player characters and campaign-specific NPCs.

Next week: the Libran galleon mission.

Last week’s game session of Battlestar Galactica continued to see us pull from the RDM show, then twist it to fit our campaign. Events have led the fleet to look for more resources, as they don’t know how far their journey will take them. They’ve found tyllium on a moon in the upper levels of an attenuated gas giant in a highly hostile star system with a planetary nebula around a white dwarf. The radiation and ejecta are enough to be dangerous to the smaller ships, but also has the same Cylon-tech jamming signature of Ragnar. The upper atmosphere of the gas giant and it’s magnetic field cut much of the harmful radiation of the nebula, but has its own dangers.

They had found, in the previous night, a derelict galleon (they think) from Kobol that had the markings of the Libran tribe. They immediately add a mission to the hulk in addition to the mining operations they are going to have to run. The mining will be highly dangerous and the fleet population has been reticent to volunteer for hours of hard labor in a space suit exposed to high levels of radiation from the nebula and the planet’s electromagnetic field. As in the show, the vice president (a PC), decides to try and get some of the prisoners to volunteer for the work in exchange for points to release or expedited release for some of them.

As in Bastille Day, this leads to a hostage situation, with the Vice President, the Tauron delegate to the quorum (a former actress), and a PC police officer guarding them being taken by Tom Zarek and another leader of the mutiny — a new character named Janus Seii. Seii is a former colonel in the special forces that worked specifically for the Office of the President running high-level security checks, doing counterterroism, etc. He had been railroaded by the admiralty four years ago, allegedly for embezzlement of black bag funds, but there were always rumors that there was some political issue or that Seii had pissed off the wrong flag rank officers. He doesn’t even have a personnel file — he was being transferred under a simple convict number. Seii is convinced he was to be killed by some elements in the government and specifically the president, who was Minister of Defense at the time, and was not hot to save the colonel.

The prisoners move Astral Queen close to a few liners to prevent being shot down and issue an ultimatum — elections and release of the prisoners. The commander of Galactica (and son of the president) is a PC: he negotiates a meet with Seii in space, raptor to raptor and explains how the conditions in the fleet aren’t much better than prison, that they are willing to run elections — which were supposed to be in the offing in six months anyway, and agrees to release the 500 or so prisoners that haven’t taken part in the mutiny aboard Astral Queen. He has one condition for this — assassinate Tom Zarek. He’s a malcontent, arrested for terrorism and his first action is to take hostages and a ship. He’s a danger and will be divisive and dangerous force in the fleet. Seii agrees and offers to make sure the most dangerous of the prisoners are defending the ship when Galactica moves to board the vessel.

The sticking point is the president. The commander defends his father, but hears how Seii had been onto some kind of subversive or treasonous element in the contractors to the Fleet’s expeditionary fleet. He suspects he was onto the Cylon infiltrators that helped destroy their defenses, but he was shut down by large political forces — perhaps even President Adar — who were indebted to their contractors. Whether they knew it was Cylons, he doesn’t know. Whether the president is a Cylon “puppet”, he doesn’t know. They agree that the political and military leaders have to be tested for Cylon hardware, or bloodtests for being Cylons.

The evening ended there, but it’s opening the campaign to a new direction. Until this point, the characters were trying to follow the laws and norms of their society…now the commander is cutting corners. If it works, will he be horrified by his actions (or suffer consequences for acting without authorization by the civilian government), or if he’ll be tempted to take the easy route and start a slide toward military rule.

There was also a comedic/frightening bit with the Tauron delegate and the cop trying to escape that led him him getting beaten pretty badly, as well as discovering that the delegate is a drug addict. (They had arranged for first aid, took out the guard and prisoner/nurse, and “escaped” into the ship…where she helped him recover from his injuries with a judicious shot of morpha. She also partook. So, high as kites, outnumbered, and not overly competent, they were preparing to go Die Hard on the terrorists. Or hide. Or something…

The night’s play showed how you can take elements of a licensed property and play with them, keeping enough bits of an episode — in this case — to tease the players into thinking things might go one way, only to let their actions led you away from the path the original material took.

From the Content Marketing Association. If anyone’s got the name of the originator of the inforgraphic, let me know so I can credit them appropriately:

seven-steps

This gaming problem child can be a subset of the Mope or the Spotlight Hog: the Lone Wolf. The Lone Wolf is a gamer for whom the experience isn’t communal or cooperative; it’s their time to shine. This is the gamer that doesn’t play well with others, splits the party whenever he can, stabs his party-mates in the back, starts fights with other players, or is otherwise disruptive because it draws attention to them.

How do you handle the Lone Wolf? Depends on the nature of the creature. Is he actively disrupting the game with out-of-play comments, or taking actions in (or out) of game to annoy other players? Pull them aside at a break and explain to them that their behavior is unacceptable.

Do they keep splitting the party, then trying to keep the spotlight on them? You could go for the traditional hit them with more opposition than they can handle, but I like to keep the other players involved by having those players roll for the opposition. This can be a lot of fun for those not involved in the plot line to feel they are still involved in the social aspect of the game. (There’s also a lot of schadenfreude that can be enjoyed when that player rolls really well for the bad guys.)

Usually, the Lone Wolf isn’t going to hang in the game for too long, especially if they start noticing they are pissing off the rest of the group, or get called on their actions. But in the event they do, you may have to explain the concept of courtesy to them. In more extreme cases, it’s perfectly appropriate to show them the door.

Runesligner, a regular poster on this here blog, had a wee contest to see who could do up the most interesting, setting appropriate characters for Hollow Earth Expedition. I tossed him two entries, simply because i couldn’t make up my mind which would be better — Trapp Sommers and a HEX homage of an NPC I created for the old Victoriana, Lord Mace — a debauched spy/orientalist with a penchant for the occult and pornography. Both won.

Head over to the excellent Casting Shadows site — he’s got some good stuff over there.

Ah, the mope…this is the player that just pulls the life out of the game. He might be the guy that sits in the corner, quietly waiting for the moment when they get to roll some dice, or they might be the guy that is actively involved in the game, but their attitude sucks — “My dice are fucking me!!!” “Man, this sucks! Why can’t we do X?”

I’ve had a couple of these over the years. One of the worst was the guy who min-maxed his character to alway be combat-inventors…they had zero social skills and would either not put in anything to the game or would make useless asides until it was their turn to roll some dice in combat. Every character was some version of this archetype.

Another was the guy with anxiety disorder who would get involved, but his personal discomfort was so palpable it made the other players uncomfortable. Few people enjoy being around someone obviously unhappy about being there. Similarly, another player was having some serious personal issues that provided him a palpable dark cloud of suck that followed him around. You could feel him moping, perfectly quiet, in another room.

The “my dice are fucking me!” guy was so scattered he couldn’t remember the basic mechanics of a game he’d been playing for two years. Worse, the above-mentioned moment was accompanied by him dropping to his knees in exasperation. It’s still one of the most memorable gaming moments for me in 30 years of playing. He was uncomfortable with the group, mostly due to some interpersonal dynamics going on.

The last example was a goth kid that spent the whole session in a light-hearted B-movie RPG playing the — you guessed it, gothy vampire kid with his killer ferret! Every action wasn’t just an attempt to hog attention, but to piss off the rest of the players. (We’ll probably see in him the next installment, as well…)

All these players have one thing in common — they are mopes. They tend to lurk in the room, obviously uninterested, uncomfortable, or otherwise miserable. There’s no real attempt to hide it, and their attitude can be infectious. Even when it is not, the fact people around them are having fun while they are not does not raise them up; they are more miserable than ever. So what do you do about the mope?

1) Find out what is bothering them, if it is something associated with the game, group, or another factor that the group and GM can address.

2) If it’s conflict with another member, perhaps it can be sorted out with a simple airing of differences on the side. The worst ones here, and guaranteed to eventually lead to the player dropping out, is if the conflict is between spouses or lovers. When a romantic relationship collapses between members, usually you lose both players. If there’s another player in the mix as well..? Oof!

3) If it has to do with the game, the setting, their character — these are easiest. Find out what will engage the player and try that. But there’s always the possibility that the player doesn’t want to play Mouse Guard. They joined to play Pathfinder, but everyone else after trying the former thought it would be fun to do that. Compromise. Rotate the games. Maybe split the group and have a second night (if feasible) and play one or the other.

4) Maybe it’s something that can’t really be addressed. The anxiety attack player had real issues that he was on meds for. He couldn’t eat around other people, so he never joined in the food. He wasn’t being rude — that he was there at all showed an interested. The personality just wasn’t especially convivial. Worse, he girlfriend was there…and was a spotlight hog, specifically, the wannabe actress type. They didn’t last too long. In this case, do what you can to accommodate the player. If there are special food needs, address them. If there’s a seating issue, try to cover that, as well. But you can only bend so far before you are inconveniencing the others in the group.

Ultimately, the goal should be to make people feel comfortable, and you should try to make that happen — but ultimately, this is a “needs of the many” situation, and if you cannot keep the mope from draining the life from the group, it might be necessary to ask them to leave. It’s never fun, and in a hobby that has a rarified population few want to lose a player of any kind, but sometimes it is necessary.

Can you think of ways that these respective examples (or others you could provide) might be addressed? Please share them in the comments.